today has been a rollercoaster. horrible, then worse, then wonderful, then unbelievably weirdgood, and now i’m like o___o
but we snuck into the old student union and i got a wonderful purple armchair/loveseat hybrid AND an office chair that is THE comfiest thing alive and a metal lockbox complete with keys and a lovely piece of malcolm x art. (he)art!
also it’s february why is it SO nice and springy sunshine warm outside? birds, go away. bugs, go away. you’re going to die if you stay out here. shutup. sixty degrees and buds on trees.
Anonymous asked: I think you meant : Aie-je tellement peur de moi-même?
…can we be study buddies?
day 1 in the attempt to figure myself out. apparently i have very unusual speech patterns and am extremely articulate and smart. i talked strictly about school stuff, but she seemed to glean a lot. i was on the verge of tears for the second half of our session. i’ve never felt so scrutinized. i think i was so emotional because i realized that this is an actual journey i am choosing to make, and it’s going to help me understand myself and the way i interact with others and the reasons i do the things i do. that’s pretty terrifying. it feels pivotal. just thinking of talking about my real problems made me choke up. i’m kind of reeling.
suis-je si peur de moi même?
don’t you hate it when you realize someone has just developed a crush on you and they start moving in for the kill and all you can do is just try to make it clear that you do not reciprocate (or do i? shitttt)
on another note, had a really not fun (but fun) paper writing party in my room with jm/sk/aa and then showered with et/eb. started working at the library today. that was fun. it was easy. i enjoy it. hanging out with books, reshelving them, checking them out, erasing peoples’ late fees… then there was a really awesome presentation about african american masculinity in secular vs. spiritual places and i sat for two hours and got paid to listen to really interesting stuff. this is good. great. okay. i mean. good things and bad things. they happen. i’m here. they wash over me like water on rocks or lemon juice on deep papercuts. depending. but i think i’m going to stay here regardless. tuff it out.
went shopping. got this shirt, this sweater, a beautiful reversible windbreaker, a yellow raincoat that fits like heaven, shoe clips, and two more shirts for $10.
what a lovely VIDA
most of my time is spent hanging out with old historians. and/or sexting. i’m like half high school frosh girl and half balding white guy. it’s an okay place to be
been jonesin’ for a hickey for a few days. drank 2much last nite. my scab is almost not a scab anymore. my hair is filthy. i’m hungry. there is snow everywhere, and it’s been a snow haze for 3 days. i feel good about myself. i look good. my throat hurts, but that’s because i drank a bunch of beer and then smoked a cigarette last night. i should stop smoking. i got straight A’s last term. i want to fast forward.
i’m going to go to breakfast. the sunrise’s pancakes are divine, and their waiters are always fuckin’ fine.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
i wonder if mine neighborz are bothered by the fact that i have been listening to this song on repeat at maximum volume for 20 minutes
same story this morning; whoopsiez
11 plays
